PURITANS. WHY.

not eating with six people

today, an entry with special guest blogger stephanie lepp.

we chose this picture because maybe it will deter steph's previous stalker, who sounds like a creepo lunatic and really should, for the good of humanity, find a washing machine full of knives and jump in.

perhaps not that bloody.

just like fling himself off a building that is more than 9 stories tall.

today we are going to hall alone because we don't like anyone else because they are bitches except zeina and p to the riyanka and abdullah and nathan. we also are elitist snobs and hate people who are country. and dumpster dive. because they're not girly girls.

people who were born in 1990 or later are perplexing. rosie hooked up with one and now feels like she should like....grow a pedo stache and wear flannel and have unspeakable things in her garage or something. just to conform to stereotype.

actually since she is a woman this makes her a couger. this means that she can wear inappropriately tight clothing and too much makeup and have an inexplicable and really unnecessary (and slightly painful) predilection for leopard print. and she would have no friends because everyone would secretly hate her but they'd feel bad because clearly she was trying to make up for some kind of emotional drought by going about children.

stephanie also knows legit hipsters but since they're legit didn't know what a hipster was until she got here, in which case a young lady informed her that hipsters dumpster dive and own beet farms.

actually, now that stephanie thinks about it, he only picks beets. he just harvests them. he doesn't actually own the beet farm.

rosie and steph agree that owning a beet farm would make him the Man. and that's not cool. that's falling prey to the system.

oh the unaware masses.

also, nice boys win. in the end.

douchebags turn into wifebeaters and then get sent to prison. or they're super rich but women only like them for their money. (and their huge penis. -steph)

(rosie disagrees with the above comment and thinks that rich boys have small penises because their douchey ways have to be overcompensating for something.)

the kappa face: "i know you but i'm only going to acknowledge you as a lesser being."

you know things are bad when...

you wake up with a start because you were in such a deep sleep and you're convince that you've slept through your alarm and are fucked, only to discover that in fact your alarm is scheduled to go off in two minutes and you've managed to fall into a near coma in actually 7 minutes.